What Is A Funeral Repast? (2024)

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A funeral repast is a tradition followed by many families after hosting a funeral. It’s an opportunity to share memories of the deceased while providing comfort and support to those in mourning, all while sharing food and drinks. This article will go over what a repast is, typical repast menus, and proper etiquette when attending a funeral repast.

What's the difference between a funeral repass or repast?

If you've ever asked the question, "What is the meal after a funeral called?" you may have been given a few different answers such as repass or repast. The terms ‘repast’ and ‘repass’ are often used interchangeably, however, the correct term is typically repast, which means, “the act or time of taking food” according to Webster. Repast sounds like “repass” when said out loud, so many people use these terms interchangeably.

In general, if you've been invited to a repast or repass, you've been invited to a post-funeral gathering with food and drinks to remember the deceased.

Who pays for a repast dinner or meal?

Simply put, the family of the deceased will typically pick up the bill for a repast meal. However, it’s not uncommon for friends and other loved ones to offer their financial assistance in covering the costs. If the family is holding a potluck-style funeral dinner, those attending should bring a dish to share, as this can help the family feed all of those attending.

When the family is footing the bill, each guest may choose to bring something else as a token of their appreciation. Ideas include flowers or plants, remembrance cards, candles and pictures, poems, or even a special dish in honor of the deceased.

What kind of food is served at a funeral repast?

The funeral repast's menu will vary depending on the family’s wishes and traditions, as well as their budget. Traditional repast menus often consist of hearty dishes such as casseroles, lasagnas, stuffed shells, and other Italian favorites. Other common items include soups and stews, salads, sandwiches, finger foods, and desserts.

Many funeral repasts are held in family homes or churches, and in some cases the funeral home will have staff available to help cater the repast. A full repast menu may include a main dish, side dishes, salads, breads and rolls, vegetable trays with dips, desserts, coffee and tea.

What should I wear to a funeral repast?

The nice thing about attending a repast after a funeral is that there's typically no need to change clothes. Since most repasts are immediately following the funeral or burial, you'll typically attend the repast in the same attire you wore to the funeral. Traditional funeral and repast attire includes: a dark suit for men, a nice dress or skirt and blouse for women, and dressy casual attire for children.

When in doubt, err on the side of caution and dress conservatively and in darker colors. It's better to be overdressed than underdressed at a funeral repast out of respect for the deceased and their family.

Repast funeral etiquette

When attending a funeral repast, it's important to practice good manners and etiquette. Here are a few tips for funeral repast etiquette to help keep in mind:

• Greet the family members of the deceased with sympathy and respect and express your sympathy and condolences.
• Allow the family time to mingle with their guests before engaging them in extensive conversation.
• Bring a dish to share if the repast is potluck style.
• Respect the wishes of the family regarding conversations or topics related to the deceased.
• Do not bring up potentially controversial topics (such as speaking negatively about the deceased, commenting on the way they passed, or bringing up frustrations you had with the deceased).
• Offer to help with set up, clean up, or anything else that might need assistance.
• Thank the family for holding the repast and for inviting you to attend.

Funeral repasts are an important part of honoring the memory of a loved one and providing support for their family. They are also a meaningful way for friends and acquaintances to share stories about the deceased in a comfortable setting. The tips above should help you feel well-prepared to attend a funeral repast with confidence and respect.

If you know a loved one who is in need of assistance after someone has passed, consider setting up a memorial website on Ever Loved. Ever Loved memorial fundraisers are free to use, and they can accept donations directly from friends and family to help with funeral costs. Additionally, Ever Loved provides many useful resources such as the post-death checklist, funeral planning guide, and much more.