Making your way out of the limo and onto the red carpet, you followed behind Jenna as she held your hand every step of the way.
Your hands are shaking and your heart is pounding against your chest, only increasing how fast it beat when you looked up to see the flashing lights and the photographers all lined up to snap pictures of you and Jenna.
You've only been dating Jenna for a month and although you've experienced bits and pieces of the chaos that her job brings her, tonight is the night you take a huge step together as you attend the Wednesday premiere with her.
It's exciting, of course.
But it's your first time being in front of such a large crowd of people and it's making you feel nervous more than anything else.
"Are you okay, baby?" Jenna asked as she noticed that your palms were starting to sweat.
"I'm fine." You lied and took a deep breath before trying to fake your best smile for the cameras.
The photographers went crazy over you and Jenna together.
It's your first official outing together. Before this, it's only been candids that paparazzi have caught whenever they follow you around or the glimpses people get to see through social media whenever you or Jenna post something together.
It was a lot to handle.
See AlsoJenna Jameson speaks after Jessi Lawless blamed split on her drinkingMeet Jenna Jameson's three childrenJenna Jameson and wife Jessi Lawless SPLIT after 11 month marriageThe voices were loud and constant, the camera flashes were bright, almost blinding, and you felt very overwhelmed very fast.
It didn't take long before it became hard to breathe and Jenna was quick to notice.
She turned her attention away from the photographers yelling out for her and turned to you.
"Baby? What's the matter?"
"It's too much." You said through your struggle to breathe. "I don't know if I can do this."
Sensing that you were having a panic attack, Jenna guided you away from the cameras and over to somewhere that it could be only the two of you.
It was hard to walk when your legs felt like jelly and you felt like you might pass out as you continued to struggle to breathe and your heart pounded faster than it ever has before against your chest.
But with Jenna's help, you made it.
She had you sit on the ground before she sat down in front of you.
Gently taking your hands into hers, she squeezed them tightly and tried to encourage you through the attack.
"It's okay. It's only you and me now, darling. Just try and focus on me, no one else exists right now. Just breathe."
You tried to breathe but you could still hear the chaos and it was continuing to scare you, causing your panic attack to linger.
"I don't think I can, Jenna. It's too much. I can't breathe, I just can't." You spoke in a panicked rush.
"You can." She softly spoke before brushing her thumb across your palm. "Breathe, baby. For me. Just keep looking at me, you've got this."
You closed your eyes and started to take deep breaths and with her help, you were able to catch your breath a little.
"What happened, honey? What scared you?"
"There were so many people." You said, swallowing thickly. "So many people watching my every move and snapping pictures of me. It was scary."
"I know." She quietly said.
If anyone was able to understand what you'd felt back there, it was going to be Jenna.
"I felt sick and it all just changed so fast. It was just too much."
"Did you feel that way all of a sudden? Or before we stepped onto the red carpet?" She asked as she continued to brush her fingers across yours.
"Before, a little. But I didn't want to tell you because I know this is a normal part of your life and I don't want to lose you."
You were beginning to get a little worked up again, which worried your girlfriend.
"Shh, breathe, darling. Breathe."
You nodded and took a few deep breaths once more.
"You won't ruin what we have by being afraid. I still get nervous sometimes. It's normal." She comforted. "Don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm here for you whenever you need me."
She sent you a small smile and pulled one of her hands away from yours to brush your hair back.
"I like you, Y/N. A lot. I like you for who you are, even for the things you see as quirks and flaws. I care about you. I don't want you to feel this afraid and not tell me. You can always talk to me. Alright?"
"Okay." You said before leaning forward and putting your head on her shoulder. "I promise that next time I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, I'll tell you."
"That's my girl." She smiled and kissed your head as she held you in her warm and tight embrace, making you feel as safe as ever.
